Today’s post is a guest post from Alida of Blackpurl’s Knitpickings…An Expat Journal
On December 13, 2011 my husband, Tom, and I celebrated our 30th wedding anniversary. Those taking bets on our wedding day would have lost big time. Most of the bettors didn’t think we would make it past six months. The odds were definitely stacked against us.
We were 18 years old.
We only had our high school diplomas to support us.
A compatibility test showed concerns.
We were an interracial couple. (30 years ago this was very rare)
All we had was our love for each other, a good sense of humor and our mutual faith in God. And somehow we had the audacity to believe that it would all work out. And with His grace it did. If I had to point to one thing that held us together I would have to show you this verse:
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecc. 4:12
Our individual faith in God led to a mutual commitment to bring glory to Him with our lives. We stumbled along the way of course. And after the honeymoon, we quickly realized that we needed to turn the excitement of the wedding and dreams of happily ever after into a marriage.
Lessons Learned Along the Way
We learned to give grace to one another even when it hurt. And we learned that His grace is sufficient enough to see us through each heartache.
We learned that forgiveness is a process and not an event. And we took the time to walk through that process over the years for as long as it took.
We learned that it is how you say things and the timing of when you say it that leads to conflicts. And we worked on our timing and tone of our voices so each of us could truly be heard.
We learned to stop praying “Lord change him/her” and start praying the more effective prayer of “Lord change me”. And our growth as individuals led to our continued growth as a couple.
We learned to laugh together, to encourage one another and we became the best of friends along the way.
And finally we learned that love is a decision and not a feeling. Our feelings could have caused us to stay focused on our differences. Our feelings could have been allowed us to cut like a chainsaw through that cord of three strands and sever the tie that binds us together. But, we chose to love. We chose to live through the for better and for worse of daily life. And God is now blessing us with the happily ever after…one day at a time!
Day of our 30th anniversary link: http://blackpurlsknitpickings.blogspot.com/2011/12/now-we-know-we-do.html
Link to all of our 30th anniversary posts: http://blackpurlsknitpickings.blogspot.com/search/label/30th%20Wedding%20Anniversary
Hi Wanda – this is such a great and encouraging post, especially for those of us whose soul mates are complete opposites to ourselves. A great marriage is possible because of God.
Tracy recently posted..God will grow you where you are!
As a single girl Tracy I find this encouraging to know that love can withstand the tests of time.
Alida, thank you so much for sharing. I gleaned valuable truths for your story. Love being a decision stands out the most to me. In relationships, I think we can overly focus on the feelings of love and forget that those feelings can change.
Kim @ Stuff could.... says
What a Love story…it is one day at a time and a decision to choose to love. It is nice to read of these 30 year marriages, rare nowadays
Kim @ Stuff could…. recently posted..My Baclofen Pump Headache
A rarity indeed Kim.
Elizabeth West says
This is what I hoped I would always have, but it didn’t happen. I changed what I was praying for, and someone came along who was all that, but the circumstances are difficult. I’m not sure why or how to overcome them. Perhaps I’ll change my prayer again. Thank you.
Elizabeth West recently posted..RENOVATIONS: Sounds like a design firm, doesn’t it?
Things do not always turn out the way we plan. That is certainly the case for me. While I don’t know the circumstances of your situation, I find that sometimes God answers my prayers in ways that I never could have imagined. If He answers the prayer, He equips you with you need to walk through the circumstances. Don’t be so quick to move to something else. Just be sensitive to His leading Elizabeth.
yvonne lewis says
A wonderful inspisrational post. thanks for sharing
I find your love for your husband inspiring as well Yvonne.
Thank you, Wanda, so much for the opportunity!
Alida recently posted..counting the gifts…
I was honored to have you Alida.
Wow! Every relationship, of any kind, would change for the good if the “timing and tone” lesson was learned and put into practice early. May you be richly blessed for sharing.
LaVonne recently posted..You Are The Song
So true LaVonne. The lessons are transferable to any type of relationship.
Susan Wachtel says
Thank you for sharing how the Lord helped you both to grow in your marriage and in obedience to His plan. This is a wonderful testimony, not only to love, but to people committed to God and one another. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you Wanda for allowing a guest to post…a great way to discover new people.
Blessings to you both.
Susan Wachtel recently posted..Five Minute Friday – Trusting God
I’m so grateful for Alida agreeing to guest post here. I find her blog to be inspiring. Perhaps I can host others from time to time.
I adore Alida, her faith and all that she puts into her beautiful marriage, what a touching and inspiring featured post.. I am stopping in from http://www.theartsygirlconnection.com (a lovely reader of Alida’s with SMILES) and your newest follower here as well.. Thanks for sharing Alida.. LOVELY blog you have here ;))) Wishing you a blessed day.. ~Marilyn
Marilyn recently posted..Happy Valentines Day From Our Crafty Lil Hearts To YOURS!!
Hi Marilyn, pleasure to meet one Alida’s friends. She is a true treasure and I am delighted that she was willing to share her story here. Glad to have you has my newest subscriber. Please consider following the blog via RSS or email as in March Google will be eliminating Google Friend Connect for non-blogger blogs.
beautiful..we need to hear from more long married godly couples nowadays.
nylse recently posted..MORE
Yes we need more examples that marriage still work for those that are willing to work it.
Beautiful lessons learned, Alida. What a treasure: 30 years of marriage. A miracle in today’s world. Although I must be about your age, my husband and I tied the knot just 16 years ago.
Betsy, 16 years of marriage is wonderful.