In a time when more people are foregoing marriage, Pastor Ted Cunningham’s book, Young and In Love, not only advocates marriage but he is a proponent of individuals tying the knot at younger ages.
We have adapted to getting our life in order first and marrying last. We don’t want a spouse to screw up our plans or tweak them.
While Young and in Love is a stark contrast to some of the ideologies I held toward marriage, I found the author made valid arguments that challenged my thinking and made me reconsider what I deemed as essentials for marriage. I love it when a book does this. He points out consequences to delayed marriage such as: removal of grandparents from families, prolonged adolescent, self-centeredness, independence, and fewer choices in partners.
You see, time alone is not the primary tool of character building. We develop our characters through pain, trials, and difficulty and by how we choose to handle this adversity, not through simple independence. Marriage offers plenty of opportunities to grow our character because it forces us to think about someone other than ourselves.
I found that he painted a balanced view of unnecessary delays like money, career, dream weddings, living together and waiting to find your soul-mate with necessary delays such as completing high school, avoiding rushes due to pregnancy, military deployment or desire for sex, and dating someone who is not a believer. Pastor Cunningham does not encourage recklessly jumping into marriage but rather guides them into examining the four C’s: character, chemistry, competency, and calling.
Who is the book for?
According to the author, the book is not for those who are decidedly single, seeking love but can not find it, nor for those seeking to learn contentment while waiting to be found. Instead, Pastor Cunningham targets this book for those who are in their late teens or early 20s , already in love with someone and desiring to marry but are meeting the you are too young opposition by family and friends. Admittedly, I don’t fall into this category but the premise of the book still drew my attention due to my curiosity regarding what makes marriages work.
Whether you are young and in love, a parent, or just family member of someone who is, I would recommend reading this book. You might find that you are one of the little foxes that could destroy love and/or marriage.
From the back cover:
Developing a godly relationship can be hard when you fall in love at a young age. Few people offer support. Many doubt your love is real. It seems almost everyone-your friends, your parents, even your church-thinks you’re much too young for marriage. You’re not ready. But maybe that’s not true.
Pastor Ted Cunningham reveals the secrets to creating a healthy, successful, and lifelong relationship in early adulthood. He explains where the arguments against young marriage often go wrong. Then he offers wisdom on how to know if you are making the right choice and helps you understand what it takes to be ready for marriage. And along the way, he sows you that, far from kissing dating good-bye, the answer to staying pure might be to prepare for marriage. Because it’s often easier to say, “Let’s wait,” when “I do” isn’t so far away.
Disclosure: I was provided a complimentary copy of the book by The B&B Media Group in exchanged for my unbiased review.