Poor Leah never fully held the heart of husband, Jacob heart. It wasn’t her fault that her father tricked him into marrying her. But it didn’t stop her attempt to gain his approval and affection. Have you ever found yourself seeking validation from someone that just wasn’t that in to you?
When the Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he opened her womb. Genesis 29: 31a (NIV)
Not being loved wasn’t just in Leah’s head. It wasn’t just thoughts of low self-worth that she was working through. Nope, it was not just a figment of her imagination. God himself knew that she was not loved. But even in a loveless marriage, she still had the ability to be productive.
She was convinced that if she proved her worth via birthing sons that Jacob’s sentiments toward her would change. She was rehearsing words like this in her head:
Surely my husband will love me now.
Now at last my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.
Just thinking of Leah’s story brings to mind all the many other Leah’s of today. Women striving religiously to obtain love and to keep some man, whose heart is some where else, attached to them. I suppose most of us have played the role of Leah at some time in our life. Yep, I’m raising my hand. Although I was not producing babies, I was doing things outside of my character in an effort to maintain a relationship—all in the name of love.
When I think of Leah, my eyes wander back to a high school basketball I attended. As I looked around at all the swollen bellies and teetering toddlers holding the hands of teenage mothers, I thought wow we have really been busy producing. No doubt many of those babies were conceived with the idea of proving love to some one. Yet some how a love or lust like that is fleeting.
Bible Background text: Genesis 29:31-35
Wanda, this is a wonderful post. There are many of us seeking the approval of boyfriends and husbands. But, first and foremost, we must remember to seek the approval of the Lord. It takes years for many of us to understand and practice this, as girlfriends or wives. One practice that I always try to keep in mind: If YOU approve, Dear Lord, then I will move. If YOU, do not approve, then I will stay still. That thought is the foundation of all of my relationships, so, as you can imagine, I have lost many friends, that were never really friends, at all. I also use the same mentality with my husband…The Lord’s way, first; my husband’s and family’s way, thereafter. The Lord must be the foundation of your thoughts, words and deeds—THEN—He will make everything else fall into place. This is sooooooooooo hard for us to grasp and practice. But it is my testimony that it works. You see, we all will seek approval of those we love, especially in our teenage years. Even if we get it, we will soon find find that it is empty–It’s never enough. We need more…We need HIM. Seek His approval, first, and the rest is history! I loved this post. Made me think and speak my piece. Blessings!
You’re absolutely right Cynthia. There are some places in our lives that only God can fill. Thank you for sharing your experience and how you integrate God in your other relationships.
I always felt for Leah and her love of Jacob….yes what we do for love
Kim, I think Leah had a rough time in life but she eventually learned that God favored her in spite of her situation.
So true Wanda, the things we do for love,
Yvonne.
Yes somethings we do we would rather not even remember, lol.
Wanda, this is so powerful. I kept thinking about my birth mom as I read it. She gave birth to me but lost herself in the process. It is very hard to explain or accept, but I am so glad that God has a way of coming right into the middle of our mess, like the woman at the well, and extending to us another way, a true love, a love that fulfills and overflows with life. Even when we are left dead from the “love battles” our faithful God will breathe life again. We’ll love again…live again…breathe again.
LaVonne, thank you for sharing a part of your personal story. You mentioned your birth mother. Where you adopted? The beautiful thing about God is that we are not stuck with our conditions alone. No matter the mess, He is a God, who is willing to come down and meet us there. And because of Him we can love, live, and breathe again.
I was “unofficially” adopted by my grandparents, godmother and an aunt. Essentially, I ended up calling two people (my godmother and aunt) mom. My mother became this background, a shadow I was aware of…very distant, even after I became aware of her identity as I got older. Believe me, when I agree with you, that God can do amazing things with a life. He certainly did it for me.
Oh I see. Thank God for women who were willing and available to step in.
Wanda,
It certainly does make one wonder….time will tell, I guess!
I think we all at some point need to rethink what we want in regards to love~
Excellent post
Hi Ella, love is a powerful thing and we all want it.
Dear Wanda, I always find the story of Leah very painful because I’ve have done things thinking that it would bring me the love I desired. My biggest regrets are the poor choices that I made after coming to faith in Christ. Thank you for your transparency and commitment to walking in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord. I am always built up in the Lord when I visit your site.
Blessings in Christ…Susan
Hi Susan, I appreciate that you mentioned that some of your greatest regrets are some of the choice you made after accepting Christ. Truth is even as believers we don’t always make the right choices. We can still be loved my the Almighty but do some unwise things in trying to feel accepted and loved by others.
Lovely post, Wanda. Isn’t it amazing that the lives lived so long ago can still speak volumes to the “human” condition. Thank you for this poignant post!
Blessings in His name,
Felecia
Yes, throughout the ages God’s Word is still relevant.
we all are desperate for this love…striving for it in ways we rarely even see for what it is. Great reminder through Leah!
Yes we all long to be love. That desperation can either lead us into the arms of our loving Lord or down paths in search of substitutes.
Hi Wanda, when I love, I am giving my everything for my loved one. Sometimes, I ask myself, am I doing just fine? For our Creator in Heaven, loving Him will let us love our fellow men.
Hi Allaina, as I read your reply it made me wonder if it’s possible to give too much of ourselves away as we attempt to love others. I believe our relationship with God helps us to find the healthy balance of loving others and being loving to ourselves. Thanks for stopping by.
Hi Wanda – I just read through those chapters recently and my heart went out to Leah. God knew. I read something the other day, if everything was taken away and just God was left, that would be enough. I wonder if she ever got to that point? Great post. Thanks for linking up Wanda, i love seeing you there.
Tracy
We will never really know but I do think Leah’s growth is evident in how she changed the names of children and choosing to praise rather than focus on obtaining Jacobs favor. It’s always a pleasure to link up with you Tracy. Blessings.
Sad but true, how desperately we can look for love in all the wrong places — and come up empty. It was a long time before I discovered the love that surpasses all loves. Thanking God…
Hi Sylvia, that desperation can lead us into the arms of all the wrong people and down paths that we would rather not be. But God’s love can reach us there too. Pleasure to have you stop by.
I always felt sorry for Leah too. Even though she tried hard to win the love of her husband, she never really did. His heart belonged to another. This is a good example of the futility of trying to make someone love you if they don’t. On the other hand, it is also a good example of the fact that God loves us. We don’t need to try to win His love. We just need to respond to it and love Him back.
Thank you for sharing on Spiritual Sundays.
Blessings,
Charlotte
By God’s wonderful grace, I’ve always been my husband’s Rachel, although I understand deeply what Leah could have been through. Beautifully written – praise God!
Rina
Leah has long been my most beloved Bible heroine. She never knew her husband’s love, but she remained faithful both to him and to God. She did what she could with what she was given and God blessed her, holding her up to as an example and giving her an honored place among her ancestors. I pray that I can remember enough of Leah to flavor my own life and to honor the God we both love.
I just read the account of Leah and Rachel this past week. You ask: Have you ever found yourself seeking validation from someone that just wasn’t that in to you? I think this can also apply to women who seek friendships with another woman because of her great bible studies or position in the church etc.
If we could just teach our young people to look first to the One who loves us best. Their hearts would not be looking in the wrong person if God came first. How often I have wanted to put my arms around a young girl and keep them from making a mistake. And maybe that is a key — if we chose to love and mentor our young people WE could make a difference, too. You’ve encouraged me to think…