Tucked away beneath pleasant greetings and endless activities
a heart and soul lies unseen
Within our hearts can be hidden many things….lost dreams, pain, sadness, hatred, envy, malice, greed. All neatly tied up together with smiling faces and cheery disposition.
Sometime last month I attended the funeral of a relative lost too soon by their own hands. As I listened to individuals reflect upon their life expressing how happy, kind, and never met a stranger, I struggled ( and still do) to make sense of if that description was true how could it be that we were sitting in the midst of this reality.
Why is it that even as believers we sometimes struggle to come from behind the mask?
Wanda, the struggle is constant, and I pray that you will be lifted into God’s presence, which is the only place to find comfort when life makes no sense. I believe we pretend for many reasons, but mostly to keep others “happy” by not seeing our real circumstances. I quit pretending long ago, because I just could not do it. We were very young when my husband became ill, and I realized then that we could not deal with the realities of our lives and pretend at the same time. One was going to win, and since life is a battle field and knew I could not win the fight pretending. I remember once a friend questioned why I was always in sweats, why not dress better? I was kind, but blunt, in letting her know that I dress the way I needed to for mad dashes to the hospital. I wanted her to get the reality of my life. It may have seem as a simple thing at the time, but I was not going to play dress-up when what I needed to be was dressed down. Even now, as my hubby has gone on to heaven, in the months since, people wanted me to pretend that the loss did not matter. As one family member told me, “you should feel relief after all these years of taking care of him.” Needless to say, comments like that did not go over well. God put us in this earth with the full expectation that we can be ourselves with Him, but mankind (and especially those in the religious circuit) has built boxes and created burdens and relentless pressures. May God bring us all back to the knowledge of Psalm 139. He created us beautifully in every way and He is with us at all times. I have needed that reassurance many times in my life. Let us always know we have His approval, grace and mercy, and not let anyone cause us to live in the false light called pretense.
LaVonne, thank you so much for sharing your experience and kudos to you for finding the freedom to walk in the reality of where you are/were. I guess that what leaves me so puzzled about not only this situation but a few others that left me feeling blindsided to say the least. But as you said I’m grateful that God does not require that hide anything (as if we really could any way).
I am so terribly sorry about your loss, Wanda. These things can hurt us so deeply and leave us reeling for months, even years, afterwards. I trust God will comfort all of you in your grief and questions. He understands. Much love to you, sweet friend.
Appreciate your kind words Cheryl.
Although we are believers…we still live in this world and can be affected in so many ways…Good to know that there is help from above!
You’re right Joy. We don’t escape the troubles of this world. Many blessings to you.
Wanda, I am so very sorry for your loss. I pray you are comforted. The masks we wear can become such a part of us, even after meeting Christ, that we don’t even realize we are still wearing them.
That’s very true Barbie. Accepting Christ doesn’t mean we automatically walk out of what have become so normal to us. Blessings to you.
So, so sorry for your loss, Wanda. A death is always difficult, but this situation is even worse. Sometimes we find ourselves unable to understand the depth of individual pain. Especially when we wear masks so well. I pray that the Lord will comfort your heart, and the hearts of this person’s other close friends and family. And I also pray that God will bring peace, even if answers are not found.
GOD BLESS.
Thank you Sharon.
I’m so sorry for your lost. I ask myself the same question sometimes about the masks we wear as believers but even as believers at times it doesn’t seem safe to take them off. I pray that God with give you strenght and comfort at this time.
Appreciate your kind words Bernadine. Although I grapple with the question I do understand the feeling of sometime needing to save face. Yet thankful God doesn’t require that we hide anything from him.
I am sorry for your loss. I have seen where Christians are fearful of sharing the truth of what is going on in their hearts due to it does seem ‘Christian’ like, especially within the church where it really should be a ‘safe’ place. I think the only way to combat this is to be authentic in how we feel and share with others so they see we are ‘real’ and have struggles, and then be a safe person for others to share their hearts with us. May we remember good lives (perfect house, husband, kids, plastered smiles…) are not measurements of being a ‘good’ Christian. These are okay things to want in our flesh, but the blessing is knowing God, not what our circumstances portray.
So beautiful said Lynn. Having Christ in our lives doesn’t give us a life of perfection but one who walks along with us and gives us the strength to face the not so beautiful things we all deal with in our lives. It is my hope that we all can find the courage and safe place to tear down the little walls of perfection we often build.
Hi Wanda, I’m so sorry for your loss of a friend. I pray that you will be comforted in ways only the Lord knows how to provide…
Thank you Amy.
Oh Wanda, words fail me right now. What a sadness… And I agree that it’s so hard to understand the difference between who we are inside, versus our behavior on the outside. What a struggle it must have been to look so happy, yet feel so bad.
I know that your presence at the time of need and grief was so appreciated. Your deep faith and love helped to heal many there. What else can we do but pray and be there for each other? St. Paul says we should weep with others, so I’ll share in your sadness and pray for your healing, and LaVonne’s too. May God bless you with His great peace. You may never understand, but you will come to peace.
Blessings,
Ceil
Ceil, it’s one of those things we will never fully understand. Yet even in it I see how God is walk along side of family members and friends to comfort and strengthen. He is always faithful.